昨天在看巴赫金全集，裡面提到歐洲文學傳統裡的傻子文學，讓我不禁要聯想到海綿寶寶卡通。
何謂傻子文學？法國的憨第德與西班牙的唐吉軻德便是典型的例子；中國或台灣民間故事裡也不乏傻女婿之類的故事。這類故事的主角大多是世人眼中的傻子或呆瓜，但是他們似乎總是傻人有傻福，總能逢凶化吉，誤打誤撞贏得美人歸或是獲得國王的獎賞。傑克拿著一頭牛換來了幾顆豆子，真的是笨到某個地步；白雪公主竟然可以被壞後母假扮的巫婆連騙三次，也真是夠蠢的了；但是這些天真愚蠢的主角最後終究會得到美滿的結局。
海綿寶寶也是這類典型的主角，他的種種行為在世人眼中實在不知道要說他是天真無邪，無可救藥的樂觀；還是要說他腦殘智障，無可救藥的白癡。但是自以為聰明的章魚哥、蟹老闆、皮老闆，卻常常總是敗在海綿寶寶之下。這樣刻意的劇情安排其實有很大部分是想用兒童的眼光來反諷自以為是的成人，或者是想提醒觀眾，有時候你自以為的聰明未必會讓你擁有幸福與快樂。
套句現在的流行語，儘管這些傻瓜主角笨得可以，但他們總是「自我感覺良好」，而這種感覺才是他們幸福生活的泉源，他人的眼光或社會的期望完全不會影響他們。反觀我們自己，有的時候實在太想讓別人覺得我們很棒很聰明，結果把自己搞得很累。
一部角色簡單的卡通可以獲得許多人的喜愛，除了情節對白令人莞爾之外，或許隱含的深層意涵也是功不可沒吧。至少對我而言，除了跟著孩子哈哈大笑以外，整部卡通隱含的深刻訊息也讓我激盪出許多反省與思考。
我的朋友很多，每個朋友慣用的聯絡方式各不相同，相處久了，自然歸納出哪些朋友喜歡用哪種方式聯絡。
第一種人是愛用網路者，使用MSN、email 、facebook一定可以聯絡得到，而且平時也都約略知道彼此的動態，是屬於保持聯絡型的朋友。這類朋友對新的資訊或軟體很快就能上手，而且經常更新近況。
第二種人是愛用手機者，打手機哈拉是家常便飯，講到手機發燙也稀鬆平常。有時我會說改用市話打來我家吧，他們會說：沒差啦。這類朋友通常也是年輕人，高度仰賴手機來維持人際關係。
第三種人是愛用簡訊者，喜歡用簡訊的方式傳達消息，打簡訊的速度超快，因為我每次都很快就收到回訊。我發現愛用簡訊的朋友以外國人居多。
第四種是愛用市話者，真正比較熟的朋友才會在晚上打家裡電話，常常一講就是好幾個鐘頭，講到電話線都快燒了。因為市話便宜，所以可以暢所欲言。通常這些比較傳統的使用者年齡較高，而且比較節儉。
我如果用錯方式和他們聯絡，常常就會石沉大海毫無回應。比如有些人從來不看email信箱，或是有些人手機從來不開機。所以呢，要用正確的方式，才能聯絡到正確的人，這就是我的小小心得。
4. Say yes when we really mean it
If people gave us things no one wants to do, when we say yes, we mean yes. We need to say it from our heart and happily accept them. If we really think yes, then we would do a good job. If people ask for help, we also need to say yes from deep inside. If we are reluctant, people can feel it and may have a bad feeling about themselves or about us. No matter things are going well or not well, sincerely saying yes to ourselves is an encouragement and recognition. With the sincere yes, our life will get better and better. We cannot lie to people, and we can’t lie to ourselves either. Only a sincere yes can help us be a winner.
So, from now on, we need to change. We need to start to say yes, when people ask us for a favor or when they ask us to do something no one wants to do, and when things are going well or not going well, and most of all, when we really mean it. It’s not that hard. But you probably would ask: what would happen when we start to say “yes”? Now let’s imagine some possibilities. When no one wants to wash the dishes, you go and do it. Your wife will love you more, or your mother may give you more allowance. When someone asks you for a ride and you say yes, and someday when you forget to bring your wallet and that someone may buy you a lunch. If you’re trying to lose weight, but your method seem not very effective. You say yes to yourself and keep trying. Finally you successfully lose some pounds. When you achieve this little goal, buy a nice dress to celebrate your victory, and say yes to confirm yourself. You will find that you are a winner. You really did it.
3. Say yes when things are not going well
Twyla Tharp was a farm girl from Indiana . She went to New York with big dreams. She dreamed to be a dancer, but she lacked the technical skills to be a ballerina, and she was too short. So she wondered, “Will I ever be a dancer? Could I live my life as a professional dancer?” The only way to find out, it seemed, was to form her own troupe and create her own style of dance.
For five long years, Tharp and her troupe practiced every day in the basement of a Greenwich Village church. They worked for little pay and got almost no recognition. Constantly, she asked herself, “Do you want to do this, or don't you?” Forty years later, she has performed over 100 dances on Broadway and in movies, and she won the National Medal of the Arts in 2004, Tharp still asks herself that same question. And the answer is -- YES.
When things are not going well, we usually start to have doubts about ourselves. “Am I really good at this? Do I want to do this? I’m fooling myself, I shouldn’t do this. I want to quit, so I won’t embarrass myself.” But if we quit, we could never know whether we are capable of doing it or not. We should never give up, and never be a quitter. Let’s tell ourselves, “Yes, this is what I want to do. I will persist and finally achieve my goal.”
2. Say yes when people ask us for a favor
Here is another story to tell you why. A poor boy tried to sell some stationery to earn the money to pay his tuition fee. One day, after a long day of door-to-door selling, he was exhausted and starving. He decided to beg for food, so he knocked on a door. A pretty girl opened the door, the poor boy was shy, so he didn’t beg for food but beg for a glass of water instead. The girl seemed to read his mind. She gave him a glass of milk rather than a glass of water. The poor boy was grateful and full of courage to continue his job and his study as well.
Many years later, that pretty girl got a serious illness, which the local doctors were not capable of treating. So she was transferred to a big hospital in city. Now that poor boy was a well-known doctor in that hospital. When he recognized the girl, he immediately decided to do his best to cure her illness. Finally, the operation was very successful and the girl got well. But she was worried about the medical expenses. When she got the medical bill, she read the item: Medical expenses……a glass of milk.
Life is like a boomerang; what we give, we get back. I am not saying that we help people because we expect something good would happen to us. But I believe that good deeds would produce good energy, and a good person with a good heart would attract good things happening to them.
A couple of days ago, I watched a film called Yes man. Jim Carrey is the main character, whose name is Carl. In this movie, he used to say no to everything, and his life was miserable. But after attending a seminar, he decided to start to say yes to everything, and then his life was changed. That movie gave me this idea for this article. I totally agree with the theme. “Yes” is a magic word. When we say yes, the world will say yes to us too.
It’s our nature to achieve, to build, to want to succeed. We all have certain goals that are important to us. They could be personal or financial goals. Some people want to save their first one million dollars before they’re thirty. Some people want to get married before they’re thirty, thirty-five, or forty. Some people want to get promoted and some people want a salary raise. These goals will not be achieved if we are just sitting here and dreaming about all of this. We need to take steps to fulfill our dreams. The first step is to say yes.
Here I would like to point out four occasions when we particularly need to say YES.
1. Say yes to things no one wants to do
Stanley Yen (嚴長壽) had his first job as an office boy for American Express. He didn’t go to college, so this was the best job he could get. But he tried to grasp every opportunity to learn, so when there are things no one wanted to do, he would volunteer to do it. When it was 5 o’clock, some people needed to leave the office but things are not finished yet, they would assign these chores to him. Once he tried to make a phone call for three hours to contact a client. Another time he stamped the office’s name on 500 pieces of letters. Soon he found he was popular. Every one in the office liked him and they assigned him everything that no one wanted to do. Mr. Yen accepted them happily and regarded them as learning opportunities. He found that things were not really that hard. So gradually, he was capable of doing everything in the office. His efforts were seen not only by his colleagues but also by his boss. And not only by his own boss but also by the boss of the next-door office. The boss of Trans World Airlines offered him a much better job, and his own boss offered him a promotion and a salary raise.
Mr. Yen’s story is the evidence. Say yes to things no one wants to do. We can learn a lot and probably earn a lot.
這是多年前去印尼買回來的紀念品，輕飄飄的染布掛在牆上，也成了一幅美麗的圖畫。
昨天一早訂定目標，說要在一天之內把論文計畫書改好，然後寄給指導教授。奮戰了一整天，終於在午夜時分完成，果然我是說到做到的人。Eddy說我是鋼鐵一般的女強人，我不知道這是不是很多人對我的觀感，我只能說我是個有鋼鐵意志的人，但其實我有一顆柔軟的心，而且哭點很低。
老公也說過我意志力堅定。我常覺得自己像是在征服高山，或是跑那種好幾天的馬拉松，這是一場漫長的天人交戰，如果沒有堅強的意志力，是撐不下去的。既然我告訴自己要做到，我就一定要做到，這是我對自己的承諾，也是我對人生的堅持。
跟我熟稔的朋友比較容易看見我墮落的一面，Joyce常說我瞎拼刷卡眼睛都不眨一下，名牌包堆在衣櫥裡，十足的拜金女；老公也常看見我癱在客廳沙發上一整天，啥事也不做，碗盤堆的半天高，收下來的衣服也堆積如山，頭髮亂七八糟，簡直是懶女人加醜女人。至於我溫柔的一面，則是我兩個兒子最常見到，睡覺前我總是對他們又親又抱的，假日早上起床前，我們也會在床上滾來滾去玩耍，所以我說他們是我的大小情人。
至於女強人這個稱號，我雖然是女性主義者，倒也沒多大反感。我覺得自己不是強人，只是能夠堅持到底的人，只是這世界上好像能堅持到底的人愈來愈不多見。回顧出社會之後的這二十年，每一個階段的發展其實都是因緣際會，從來都不是我立定志向要達到的結果，I just follow my heart and do what I like and what I have been good at. 我從來也不曾奢想自己有一天能走到現在的階段，所以我真的很滿足，但我也不斷擴大我的舒適地帶，希望有一天我能無處不舒適，無時不舒適，那才是人生的至高境界。
我就像牆上掛著的染布，看來像一幅堅硬的畫，其實是一片柔軟的布。
話說某日在某處我遇到一位朋友，我跟她感情不錯，但屬於君子之交淡如水的感覺。她從桌上拿起一本書給我，說這是她主編的書，收了一些文章，我說：哇，很棒啊，她說：喔，沒什麼好的文章啦，大概只有一篇還不錯。我看了看目錄，順著她的話說：是喔，好像還滿typical的。然後她同事來找她，於是她們開始討論公事，這時我陷入了困境...
我是該把書放回去，還是問她這本書是要送我的嗎？(因為以前她每次出新書都會送我一本)，還是應該央求她說，這本書送我好不好？
最後我選擇了把書放回去，因為我怕她原本就沒意思要送我，結果我一開口，她變得不好意思不送我。但是要猜測別人的想法實在很難，以下有兩種版本，我覺得都有可能。
她的想法版本A：
「ㄟ，紅薯來了，給她看一下我編的新書。是朋友就不說場面話了，我自己是覺得這次收的文章不怎麼樣啦，啊，Ellen來找我談公事，那本書就借紅薯看一下好了。喔，她翻了翻就放回來了，說不好意思打擾我就走了。只好下次再跟她聊囉。」
她的想法版本B：
「ㄟ，紅薯來了，把我編的新書送給她。先謙虛一下。蝦米！沒想到她竟然附和說裡面的文章不怎麼樣，哇哩勒，不理她了，來跟Ellen談公事。我來用眼角餘光瞄一下，她翻了翻書，竟然慢慢的把書放回我桌上，我編的書是有這麼爛嗎？一點都不想要的樣子，我好傷心...」
當時我會把書放回，是因為我選擇了版本A，所以禮貌上，人家沒開口說要送，怎好意思跟她要。可是，萬一她的想法是版本B的話怎麼辦？她一定會討厭我的，因為她以為我看不起她編的書。
唉，真的很難猜想別人在想什麼，做了都已經做了，如果她要真的氣我，我也只能怪自己判斷錯誤，只好自食其果了。
Modern society brings us not only conveniences, but also much much stress. Endocrinologists at the University of Edinburgh have found a high level of cortisol in the fat tissue of obese men. Cortisol is a hormone regulating stress. This finding may prove that stress is linked to obesity—no matter this stress is from divorce, a new job, or a daily commute in terrible traffic. An A. C. Nielsen survey showed that snack food sales increased more than 12 percent in the few weeks following the 911 World Trade Center tragedy. It seems that food can bring some comfort. Parents are stressed by work, so they buy sweet milk tea or snack with toys to make their children shut up and eat. Children want them because they also feel the peer stress. They want to eat what their friends eat, and play what their friends play.
So here is the picture: this whole society is always trying to tempt you to eat more, prevent you from physical exercise, and giving you stress, which makes you even want to eat more and then relax in your couch. Who has the strongest will to fight with all of this? I don’t know about you, but I sometimes just couldn’t resist. However, after knowing all the forces that push you to gain weight, you can still make the better choice when you decide what to eat, when to eat, and what to do after you eat. So, be wise, and then you can be fit.
“Lose weight.” Every morning when I stand on the bathroom scale, these two simple words pop up in my brain. Sound so easy, but so difficult to do. Why, why, why? Why it’s so hard to lose some weight? Many people regard it as a problem of will. It’s hard to lose weight because you have weak will. You can’t control yourself. You are such a loser. But I don’t think so. I think even a man of iron will cannot successfully keep fit all the time in today’s society. There are too many factors in the world trying to destroy your not-so-strong will. So it’s not all your fault. Too many temptations, too many conveniences, and too much stress should also be responsible for your struggle.
Let me give you some examples. How many of you have ever been to fast food restaurants? Very well, then you will understand what I mean. All the servers there are trained to encourage you to order “value meals.” You get extra French fries, more soft drink, and the price is cheaper than the one you would pay if you order them separately. They even try to persuade you to upgrade the size of your order and you only need to pay a few more dollars. Who wouldn’t be tempted to get this “good deal?” You think it’s a good deal, but it’s really not. You are eating more than you need. Fast food is not the only one to blame. The popular buffet is another temptation. You pay a high price to get many choices of food. In order to have a good deal, you are tempted to eat more than you can physically afford.
我有兩個情人，在我情緒最低落的時刻，他們是我心靈的慰藉。大情人心思細膩，小情人情感豐富。大情人會心疼的說，念博士這麼辛苦，妳不要唸好了啦；小情人什麼也沒說，只是每天給我好幾個擁抱。
昨天吃飯時大情人跟我說他多麼討厭以前的老師，因為那老師太愛羞辱人了。他把發生的事和自己的心路歷程仔細述說給我聽，說到動容之處眼眶泛紅，我知道他信任我，全心全意的信任我。
小情人要上床睡覺前，來到書房給我抱一個說晚安，然後心滿意足邊走邊跳著回房睡覺，我的心好甜好甜，他真的愛我，全心全意的愛我，一個簡單的擁抱與親吻，就可以讓他雀躍的進入夢鄉。
我的兩個情人，是上天賜給我的禮物，我會用源源不絕的愛，來豐富這份禮物。
I tried to publish one paper in an academic journal, so I sent them the paper a few months ago. They emailed me yesterday and told me the result is: REJECTED!
My heart was broken. Then I read the two reviewers' comments. I had to admit that what they say is right. My argument is too weak. My data are not enough. My logic is sometimes contradictory. In short, the paper is not good enough to be published in a well-known journal.
I felt so frustrated last night. How come I didn't see my problems? This paper was presented in a conference, and the audience gave me a positive feedback at that time. Maybe that's why I thought it was a good paper. Now I know the difference between conference paper and journal paper.
I woke up this morning, still feeling bad. But I try ot look at the bright side. At least I got valuable feedbacks. The reviewers really carefully read my paper and point out my weakness. I can learn a lot from their comments. The only thing I should do now is to recollect myself and persist in my study. I have no time to lament.
書架上的書，反映了藏書人的個性和愛好。我家書架不斷的擴充，使我不得不收斂點，因為買書容易藏書難。
這是我書架上的書，十幾年前去波士頓的Simmons College 唸兒童文學研究所，從那時起就愛上圖畫書，喜歡收集，更喜歡翻譯。碩士論文與博士論文也因此與兒童文學結下不解之緣，至今仍樂此不疲。
這是兩個兒子的書架，因著我喜愛繪本，也就跟著多加涉獵，這些都是很經典的作品，不過老大現在已經不太看繪本了，改看長篇小說，例如貓戰士！
這......是我家老公的書架，有點幼稚喔，收集了一整套，不過我們全家都愛看啦，五年級生的童年回憶裡，怎麼能少了怪醫秦博士呢？現在改名為黑傑克，就像多啦A夢一樣，不得我心啦！
